excuse me while i rip this piece of duct tape off my mouth.

my blog has been keeping a major secret for almost three months now........ and it's been killing me every day.

every.single.day.since.april.first.

that's 78 days, thankyouverymuch.

it has something to do with bestie jen

with some cooperation on ed parker's part

and, if we're being honest, it all boiled down to my very important role in the process:

fulfilling, with great diligence, my most important bestie duties: crossed fingers and positive vibes.

baby parker  |  december 2011

bestie saturdays just got an overhaul.  we're now frequenting that part of the shopping center...

the one with a maternity store.

howwwwwww ridiculous is that fake belly?

a few things:

1.  who tells their best friend they're pregnant on april fool's day?  jen does.  and i trusted her to be telling me the truth.

2.  i cried on the way to work last week.  serious, streaming-down-my-cheek, soft-hearted tears about how much i was going to love this little baby.

3.  my bestie duties are still working overtime to will this baby to be a girl baby.

4.  while i cried, i thought of sophie and how madly i want to gobble her up when she's in my arms... or within a 100 mile radius for that matter.  bestie jen's baby will receive the same mad love treatment.

5.  i also thought about jen. and in my most matronly way, i thought about how far she's come {cliches in italics}.  just like her wedding day, when i cried like a baby in the temple because she worked so hard to get where she is today and how badly she wanted this.

6. the cliches are all true.  her 34-year old biological clock and her newly softened, maternal, recovering drug addict, former felon self went to hell and back in the last 10 years and now, finally {FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY!} she's cashing in on the ultimate reward as a woman.

7.  there will be a baby shower like no other in october. i'll repeat:  a baby shower like no other.

8.  that child - boy or girl {itsgoingtobeagirl} - will be helpless against being funny, pretty {itsgoingtobeagirl}, stylish, and have incredible taste in music.  all because i'll be her {itsgoingtobeagirl} bestie aunt aubry.

promise you'll keep it a secret from jen's dad for another few hours.

jen and ed parker are on their way to arizona to surprise barry with a {grand}father's day visit and share the good news with the unsuspecting old man.