i am not above bribery.

i'm not even ashamed to admit it - i'm a big fan of bribery.

i use it all the time.

like tonight, when someone from our dinner party didn't want to go to the restaurant the rest of us wanted to go to. instead of picking up dinner at the restaurant next door {what's the fun in that?}, i leaned in and begged, "if you eat with the rest of us, i'll buy you a prize!" 

i mean, i took a little more convincing.... "i'm a good prize giver - you know i am..."

so there we sat, as a family table of five, as happy as can be.

i bribed olive with pennies - pennies! - for cleaning up her toys and sitting in the cart while shopped at target.  i can stand to lighten my wallet by a few pennies... but in olive's mind, money is money and money is shiny and money buys things... so the toys were put away and the girl sat in the cart.  win win for me.  might be problem later on in life when the lasting effects of expecting instant cash rewards are realized.  sorry if that's the case, andi.

i bribe my co-workers all the time for doing the manly chores in my life, like changing the headlight in my car, loading and unloading heavy things, yada.

but today - it backfired.

major.

i was in a co-worker's office, discussing something important i'm sure, when another guy came in to join our conversation.  they realized they needed the company car i had reserved for tomorrow. they were going to ogden, i was going to 5 miles down the street.  i said, jokingly, "what's it worth to you?"

my clever co-worker, thinking he could compete in my own bribery game said, in the most compelling i've-got-to-make-this-good voice "if you help me out, i'll give you a sur-priiiise......."

and then it went silent for just long enough.
that's when the new guy felt like an intruder in the convo.

i mean, that just sounds dirty.

it's a prize.  not a sur-priiiiiize.

i'm a good prize giver.... but not that good.