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Sunday, July 3, 2011

i said all the wrong things.


a kirby salesman came to my door the other day.  i wouldn't have normally answered the door without knowing who it was, but i was expecting uncle larry with a dishwasher.

it was awkward from the start when he complimented me on the nickleback shirt i had on... the one i was wearing to do manual labor about the house.  i told him it was an april fool's joke, but he didn't get it.

no matter.  he had a vacuum to sell me. for, like, $2,000.

he asked all the obvious questions:

what's my most high traffice area?
how often do i get my carpets cleaned?
yada.

and i answered with all the wrong answers:

i've never cleaned my carpets.
my carpet is the perfect color to hide dirt.
i don't have any high traffic areas because i live alone and i'm hardly ever home...

and every time new words spilled out of my mouth i told myself to stop talking in my head.
JUST.STOP.TALKING.AUBRY.

but it didn't work... i stumbled my way through more, more, more, circular salesman conversation.
all the things i said intead of saying "no thank you" in an effort to be polite, he took as a yes.

until i finally said

"i don't allow strangers in my home" and shut the door.

single girl living alone:  fail.


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