defense mechanism.

pin.

when things get rough,
it's easiest for me to just get quiet and slip into silence.

when i'm irritated, mad, feeling bruised, etc.

or, or, OR! when things get contentious and i'm just the innocent bystander, i take myself away to a land of mobile twitter, google reader, a magazine, or my best yet - i've practically perfected the art of pretending to be enthralled by the nearest piece of junk mail - and i let the chaos swirl around me.

i get that the silent treatment isn't an effective communication technique for anyone, at all, ever. i've seen the silent treatment in action and it's a wicked tool. confusing and mysterious at the same time.  but sometimes it's better than the alternative... which is like, an emotional breakdown at lunch, or gritted teeth and a pounded fist on the dinner table.  oh, how i'd enjoy freeing my thoughts by yelling "stopppp!  all of you. just stop!" wouldn't it be fun to speak how we feel for once... without thought or fear of consequence?

sometimes it's shocking to my people:

"wow, you're quiet today. are you okay?"

and my response is usually "i'm fine... i just don't have anything to say right now."

as if that's at all believable.
it's a complete LIE, people: i'm a conversationalist by profession and hobby.

i'm surprised by anyone who at all accepts such a line from me without throwing it back in my face and calling my bluff.

i could try to fake it, but that wouldn't be very believable either, since i was blessed with the heavy gift of transparency.

so maybe this is fair warning.  maybe it's an excuse... i don't really know why this came to the surface on this monday, thedayaftersunday.

all i know is life is a happier place when the circumstances of my environment don't take me to my quiet place.

cryptic, much?
yup.

how do you deal?