brother beck.

a few disclaimers here:

1. i would rather talk about my personal finances than politics.

2. i'd rather poke my eyes out with pencils than talk about my personal finances.

3. my political affiliation: undeclared.

4. i don't feel one way or another about democrats or republicans.

5. but i definitely don't like crazy people.

AND...

i have no documentation to prove any of this.

but, i DO have this picture of cousin christian playing with a my little pony in the middle of church.

i promise, glenn beck {and his wife... and kids... including his daughter who looks EXACTLY like him - poor soul... and one of his two body guards - the other was standing guard at the door of the driggs ward house} are sitting in the row right behind the last row you can see in the background.

GLENN BECK WAS AT CHURCH!

IN DRIGGS IDAHO!

{i'm yelling.}

what the!?

i let out an audible sigh when i saw him.

and then i let out an audible "oh sweet hell" {yeah, in sacrament meeting.} when he walked up to the stand to bear his testimony.

here's how it went down:

{seriously, how was i lucky enough to experience this?}

testimony meeting is a little bit like "open mic night"

throw glenn beck into the conservative homeland like the teton valley...

and suddenly, men and women who usually bear their testimony of the lord or the truthfulness of the church, get distracted by stars in their eyes and start bearing their testimony OF glenn beck.

really.

aaaand then glenn beck gets up.

before he opens his mouth, he pulls a handful of kleenex from box.

it's an act from the start.

now, i don't doubt the man's religious convictions are the same as mine,

BUT given a microphone and an opportunity to share my beliefs

these things don't escape my mouth:

"i just got word that the new york times sent a reporter to alaska to find me"

"when i organized the rally that took place last weekend in washington"

or

"i don't enjoy doing what i do for a living"

{$32 million a year and he doesn't like it...}

he spoke for at LEAST ten minutes.

in mormon land, that's a long time at the pulpit in a testimony meeting.

and after?

larry, that contrary uncle of mine, got up and said,

"i'm honored to have shared the pulpit with one of my heroes...

... sister marian so-and-so"

{who spoke before glenn's inner magnetism sucked him to the microphone}

... everyone in that room - glenn included - thought for SURE he was referring to brother beck.

it was awesome.

the whole thing was a show.

everyone was getting their fusion of entertainment + enlightenment on in their testimonies.

what a distraction.

and don't even get me started on the grown man who KISSED HIS NECK as he threw his arms around him...

and i was there to witness it all.

{p.s. i checked. he took the sacrament.}