where there's gold, there's a gold digger.

once upon a time, i had a conversation with a co-worker {note: i start a lot of stories this way - and most times, i'm referring to the same co-worker. fyi.}

but wait, let me back up.

like 9 months before this convo, co-worker set me up on a date with his wife's cousin from smalltown, montana. biggest flop of my life... {a story that deserves it's own post, really}.

i mean, co-worker was just looking out for my best interest and progressive happiness. so, co-worker kept trying.

fast forward.

he tells me about a new guy he thinks i may find interest in... his daughter's elementary school principal. a principal. like - a real adult with a real career.

laugh, laugh, joke, joke... i can hear it now - aubry's been sent to the principal's office.

now - what i did next was, honestly, the first thing that popped into my head. but, let me assure you...

i. am. not. a. gold. digger.

i visited a great website - http://www.utahsright.com/ - where, among other things, any of us utahns can scope the salaries of our public employees. i realize what this looks like *cough*gold*digger*cough*

i did it as a joke. 100% joke. for being an educator, i was kind of surprised {$84k, which i have since learned isn't as great as it could be for a principal}. i proudly told co-worker what my investigative skills had discovered. he wasn't amused. he called me a gold digger in, like, 64 different ways.

i was totally deflated, thinking that my harmless antics led to a serious scar in co-worker's mind about what kind of girl i was. hmph.

upon an afternoon of thought, this email came out.

"dear co-worker,

i don't want to be a gold digger. i like nice things.... and a lot of them... but so what? i tried my hand at the grocery store clerk/meat cutter even AFTER i learned he didn't go to college and escaped to mud lake after working 9 years in a particle board factory in montana. i'm aiming high, here... don't blame me.

as for the principal - public figures have public salaries. i told you my steel trap memory is a double edged sword. i wish i didn't remember every bit of every detail. but since i do - i'm just looking out for myself. besides... it's "utah's right". i can pretend i don't remember that he makes $83K (or was it $84K) if it makes you feel better. and if/when you really do set me up with him, rest assured... i will absolutely pretend i don't know his salary. i will find him charming for his dedication to education.

-aubry."

turned out, mr. principal was 42 {much older than the original age co-worker thought he was} and had 2 kids. oy.

i never went on a date with the $84,000 man.