He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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