Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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