the fair experience.

a long time ago jen told me about her husband, ed the hero, who diligently scored 2nd row center tickets to the big n' rich concert at the utah state fair. i was like, cool. have fun. who's that? 

and then i remembered i watched a full season of celebrity apprentice and never knew who that one guy -the winner - in the rhinestone wranglers was.  it all made sense. 

and then last week happened and jen let me know ed didn't want to go to the big n' rich concert and that i would be going. i think we call that the bestie test. and i passed.  

so we went.  and for the record, i ate nothing all day.  not on purpose, but that's how it goes sometimes. when jen walked in my door, the first thing she heard me say was "you don't think i'll eat more than $25 worth of fair food, do you?  will that be enough?" 

there's $7 left, for the record. corn dog, super nachos, and a caramel apple: state fair success.

oh, AND... gretchen wilson was a co-headliner. not being a country fan one single bit, not at all, ever - jen scoped the set list and prepared me in the car on the way in.  she told me i'd probably recognize three songs. one from big n' rich {save a horse, ride a cowboy}, and two from gretchen {redneck woman + a cover of barracuda}

but then....... gretchen had a death in the family.  which meant she was out for the night and the number of songs i'd recognize shrunk by 66%. i'd only know ONE song all night long. kind of.... only the chorus.... which is to say, only the words in the title of the song that are sung in the chorus. save a horse, ride a cowboy.  six words... that's all i knew.

so.

first things first. a flock of geese greeted us at the gate. the man in the coveralls told us they'd just been married. 

those lucky ducks, err - geese. 

this is the space where i should fill the space with photos of food. 

except pictures of food are never good to look at... and, well, i was too busy eating it.

so, moving onto the concert.

i didn't know anything about this big n' rich business, so i had no idea what i was in for.

plus, my body does this instant-paralysis thing when i'm in the presence of weirdos. everything else goes out the window and the weirdo and i are holding hands, twirling in circles like we're the only people in the universe.

jen says she's learned to just quit talking to me... i drown her out along with the rest of mankind. 

the big n' rich audience turned out to be my weirdo heaven.

and i have no shame in taking pictures of strangers... a trait i inherited from my mother.

like this guy - who, beyond the oddness of wearing the big kenny top hat, has a colored pencil sketch of big n' rich. HE'S GOING TO FRAME THAT ON HIS WALL.  or, like, give it to his girlfriend as a token of his love. oh my gosh, the assumptions i can dream up about these strangers in endless. i love it.

and this guy:  official big n' rich photographer. leisurely hawaiian shirt and fake sketcher bowler shoes n' all.

BIG N' RICH.

jen was kind enough to slow us down, take in the moment, and relish in the fact that we were close enough to john rich to smell his musk. one of the perks of sitting 2nd row center.

john rich had bling everywhere.  john rich chafes bling.

the other perk of 2nd row center?  our very own view of 1st row center. 

the people watching was h.e.a.v.e.n.

a classic big kenny shot. and by classic, i mean, this was the first time i've ever laid eyes on the man, but i can tell he lives his life in skin tight jeans, a leather fringe vest, throwing the peace sign at strangers, and sharing a moment with the heavens.

and then this black guy came out on stage. jen freaked out a little bit.... so i played along and freaked out, too.  except i kind of meant it, because the sight was just too much to handle.  

his name is cowboy troy, and i appear to be the last person on the planet who does not know cowboy troy, the country rapper.

i can't help but wonder if this black guy came to the front of the stage to take pictures of cowboy troy... or was it big kenny?  either way, he snapped away and loved every second of it.

it's not a country concert if you don't have a stocked bar on stage, a black cowboy serving up the drinks, and a military man.  god bless the troops!

more cowboy troy.  i looked like kevin mccallister when he realized his family left him home alone at christmas.  hands on cheeks, mouth wide open, eyes not blinking.

and then a big kenny had a wardrobe change - JUST so he could take his shirt off  and throw it in the audience.

all out, to-the-ground throw down between two dudes and a chick.... fighting over an x-small "ride a horse"  tee. 

OH oh oh.

john rich commented on how good looking the women were in utah.... which i've heard from lots of visiting artists before.  i kind of believed it.  they say mormons are pretty. statement of fact.  so, it's an easy generalization: utah is pretty. but looking around that audience - all those people without teeth {i'm serious}, all that hairspray, tattoos, muffin top, polyester halter tops + skater shoes - and i realized that "pretty girls" line is all a lie. it's just something charming men on stage say to make the girls scream. because there's NO WAY john rich looked out in that audience and saw pretty. no way. 

bummer.

it's all a lie.

new tradition: 2nd row center at the state fair. it's a thing. a situation. an experience. like, you go.  when the fair comes, you have a white trash experience and you go.  let's hope it's not weird al next year.  but even if it is, it's a thing... and you go.

we walked to the car through the market.... where you can buy shower heads and chocolate covered bacon and pillow pets.  in standard bestie form, i told jen she could pick out "one thing" {like any exasperated mother would tell her child when they want everything} and she chose the light up unicorn glass figurine.

longest post ever.  totally boring, i'm sure.  trust me - it was amazzzzzzzze.