whisper, whisper, whisper.

there's no sense in dancing around the issue - i'm not well liked among the female kind. and i think the feeling is mutual. before you all get worked up and feel the need to tell me it's not true, or that i'm being too hard on myself, it's okay. i say it as a statement of fact.

i keep my circle small on purpose.

i have a really small core of friends who are truer than true. my friends are so good to me. they are fiercely loyal to me, and i to them. if i felt like i had room for any more, i'd consider making more friends. i think it's in me. i've met some very nice people {girls} lately... but spreading the love any thinner would mean short-changing my existing relationships.

but. my point is, i have become entirely jaded by people outside of my really small circle talking about me. as a member of this half of the gender pool, i know how it works - we talk. i don't blame anyone for doing it, for no one is guiltless in this game.

if girls who {think they} know me want to talk, like, say - call me an elitist snob - i'm okay with it. i'm resigned to the fact that i am talked about. i have come to terms with it and, frankly, am beginning to be flattered by the attention i get in their minds.

but, the greatest thing happened to me the other day...

i walked into the room, noticed two heads joining together and saw the beginnings of a whisper fest. given the circumstances, i knew what they were about to talk about. me being a large part of it.

to my surprise, and possibly one of the greatest "huh." moments of my life, they spoke loud enough that i could hear them. they didn't know it, but i could. THEY WEREN'T SAYING BAD THINGS. yeah, they were talking about me... but it was all nice.

i inched one step closer to a restored faith in the general female population that day.