and on this day in 2010...

jen and ed got married.

not on jan. 14.

but on friday. just like today.

and because i have a steel trap memory, i'm thinking of all the details i remember about the day.

jen just told me she doesn't remember a thing. so this is for her.



we attended a session in the temple the night before the wedding, followed by a {groom's?} dinner at the ever classy la frontera. then a quick stop at the grocery store for supplies before a marathon bake session in the kitchen to make the wedding cake. red velvet + cream cheese. bed: 2:30 a.m.

the morning started at 4:45 a.m. at the hair salon. i'm not kidding.

just as we passed the 2600 south interchange, somewhere near the village inn, jen and i scoffed to each other - "who would have thought you'd be doing this two years ago?" still, if i think about it too hard, i cry. just like i'm crying right now as i type...

i finished writing my m.o.h. speech on the floor of the salon while chani worked on jen's finger waves for an hour. jen sat under the dryer and couldn't hear a thing.

make-up girl ashley, who looks every bit like reese witherspoon showed up at 6:30 a.m.

diane came about that time, too, to pick up the torch as mother of the bride. this maid of honor needed to head home for a shower and to prepare my pretty self for the day.

jen went straight from yvonne's doll house to the temple for her 8:30 a.m sealing {i mean... that's what you have to do when you plan 43265357 events into one day.}

the inversion was the worst i can remember. but it was crystal clear up on the hill in bountiful.

i walked into the temple in my teal cardigan to represent super bridesmaid-hood. i sat next to jared and dave in the back of the room before we entered the sealing room.

as we filed in, i kept my back-of-the-room plan in tact until diane told me there was a seat waiting for me in the front row. i didn't intend on being a front row sitter.

it was right about then that i burst into tears. full faucet tears. i spied heidi and traci, who were sitting across the room, making matters worse for all three of us. i couldn't control it. and since this was pre-rebecca-cancer, i couldn't remember the last time i cried. it wasn't a spiritual cry. i don't do that. it was a cry of relief. like, "we worked so hard to get here." we as in jen. but also, we as in me. one hundred hours at the bountiful food pantry, a tampon drive and so many other things i invested myself in on behalf of jen's eternal good graces. nobody understands but jen... and that's okay. i cried a good cry in that sealing room for my bestie. and for ed, too. who, all along, we thought taught jen the virtue of patience... but i'm just now realizing ed was probably an equally patient partner. i cried and i didn't stop.

when jen and ed walked in the room, and jen got a look at her hysterical bestie in the front row, she met my eyes with a "what the $#@?" look on her face. she was in the temple, so maybe it wasn't really $#@?... but it's jen.... so maybe it was. i shrugged my shoulders in return. that's all i could do. the tears were as foreign to me as they were to her.

after doing my m.o.h. duty in the bride's room - a la showing that industrial zipper who was in charge that day - i raced outside to meet the andrea the photographer.

.... the photographer who was no where to be found. the sealing was fast. faster than the photographer. jen didn't anticipate we'd be done as soon as we were, so andrea wasn't scheduled to arrive for another half hour. i turned my crisis communication brain on and googled whatever i needed to google to get a hold of her.

crisis averted. obligatory bride's family, groom's family, bestie photo session. when the photographer asked for the "brothers and sisters" shot, jen yelled "i don't have any sisters" and then was reminded by sweet catherine that she did, in fact, have sisters. she had four of them.

jen and ed took more pictures while catherine and i went home to attend to the candy buffet tags and last minute crafting duties. i was already tired of my outfit but i had 4326457 more events to be dressed for.

onto the luncheon at the wight house on main street in bountiful. balloons. candy. and a mustard chicken i couldn't eat. who needs to eat anyway, when they're about to talk into a microphone?

wedding speech here. i was funny. i consider it a success because i made people laugh and managed to avoid the words "felon" or "jail".

i salvaged as many balloons as i could from the luncheon to avoid a trip to the grocery store later on for the welcome sign at the reception. i drove home blinded by balloons.

there was an intermediate moment of chaos at ed's house.... where i needed to find a brown paper bag with an orange tie and red socks. there were 3575 people in that house and i wanted to get out as soon as possible.

everyone had an assigned task... written on the scratch paper i keep in my junk drawer. mess ups from the south layton interchange groundbreaking event. funny only if you've ever lived in my house.

kevin tenney came at 2 p.m. to help load cars and set up the reception. the insecurity of that issue had to be folded up for the day and put on the shelf. operation: carnival was the task at hand. besides, i had already exhausted all the emotions in my quota in the temple. no room for the mystery of love in my head or in my heart.

i told catherine that if she could successfully squeeze ten balloons in the trunk of jen's vw beetle, i'd buy her a prize. there wasn't a question in my mind that it was remotely possible. but the girl is magic... and i owed her a treat.

kevin tenney drove my car.  he had a choice between driving a girl's car and being responsible for the steady hands associated with wedding cake and he chose driver's duty. wise move. i rode passenger with a wedding cake on my lap, but i also secretly instant messaged greg at the office and coordinated a drop-off of the welcome sign, which was printed by my graphics guy at work. a necessary task.... but also a plot on greg's part to sneak a peek at the guy he'd soon be traveling to mexico with... among other things.

the next three hours are a mess in my mind:

hair and make up upstairs.
don't touch the historical art.

hair and make-up were the last things on my mind.

assembly of the candy buffet needed tending.

decorations.

photo booth.

hay bails.

penant flags.

electrical wiring.

ladders.

48 cases of soda that looked pretty but tasted like grape crush.

pvc pipe set ups.

and then magically, dave, jared, kevin tenney disappeared.

andrea was there to document the whole process. i've never seen a more genuine thrill. we gave her perfect material to work with, by way of photography. bright colors and tricky lighting.

as m.o.h. i reserved the right to have complete control of my hair-do... and i chose nothing. so chani ran the straighener through my hair three times and slapped a headband across the top. i didn't have time for any more than that anyway.

ashley did her thing in full bobbi brown glory. bright cheeks, fake eyelashes and dark lips. va va voom.

i dressed myself in a public facility restroom with forest green metal stalls and 2 inch tiled walls and flooring. so glam.

a half hour behind schedule, there was ONE LITTLE MINUTE of chaos. only one minute where i had to tell the stressed out bride that i was not going to obey her orders because i was doing something else. and then 15756 other things came up and we kept going.

pictures happened in 15 seconds. we don't have a group shot of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen with the bride and groom... that was just too much to ask for at the time. ed has his homeboys and jen has her homegirls... and that's all that matters.

the reception began and that was the last i'd see of jen and ed the whole night. and the rest of the week, for that matter. they stood in line for three hours. people came but no one left. the room was full. it was beyond capacity and squished even for "standing room only" mode. i abandoned my duties at the candy buffet but manned the cupcake table. i ate a hot dog and drank a strawberry crush through a straw. no popcorn, no cotton candy. not even any diet coke.

the tossing of the bouquet came by way of jen's step mom handing me the bouquet and saying "jen wanted me to give you this." that was the last i'd see of it. it was lost in the clean up. but the sentiment remained.... without the shame of catching a bouquet to the tune of "all the single ladies". i told you she is the best bestie ever.

i stomped my foot a little bit when i learned jen and ed were going to leave. call me selfish, but i really wanted them to cut the cake. you know... the one i missed a night's sleep for. but then i remember she was running away for a night with ed parker and i relented. the wedding cake came home in my lap the same exact way it arrived.

we, the cleaning crew - this is a salt lake county facility after all. we wouldn't want to forfeit the $50 cleaning deposit - stayed until a janitor in the kilt told us we could go home. after nearly 48 hours virtually without sleep, the concept of time got a little hazy.  i bet we were pushing 11 p.m.

in the car, with the cake in my lap, my first order of business was to rip off my fake eyelashes. out of pure curiosity, kevin tenney wanted to see how they worked. as i turned to show him, one eyelash fell between my seat and the center console. my skin started to itch and i couldn't stop thinking about the fragile little feather i lost and the $20 that went with it. obsessiveness. a real attractive quality, i'm sure.

1.5 hours of sleep in two days, but catherine + dave, kevin tenney + i thought it a good idea to go home and watch a movie. emotions do funny things to girls and boys. we chose a denzel movie about white kids who get kidnapped in mexico.  remember how we were going to mexico in a week?  wise choice.

before landing at home, we stopped at the maverik for diet cokes, a f'real treat owed to miss catherine for the balloon magic, and some white chocolate frozen yogurt for kevin tenney. since i had a wedding cake on my lap and i was paralyzed by the out-of-whackness of a missing eyelash in my life, kevin filled my gas tank. with premium. apparently, he thought i had a nice car.

by 3 a.m. kevin tenney need to report to work. but none of that mattered in my mind, because after 38943643 dinner and movie dates he finally manned up as a boyfriend.

hey, kevin, thanks for putting all the moves on {at last!} the girl while her bestie honeymooned in florida. but, jen called and said that since she and ed invested precious disneyworld time into the excitment of our lives, she wants three days of her honeymoon back.